Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ!)


I one time was asked about the basic best practices for rotating stock in a walk in freezer. Forget any and all conventional knowledge about proposed “sell by” dates and other outdated dating systems. This is a post linear time line and anything you eat or drink doesn’t exist until after consumption anyway.

What’s your return policy?

I have returned from the frozen bewilderment of an unseen source of confusion. My opacity is always turned very low so as to remind you of what ghosts used to look like.

Do you ship oversees and to P.O. boxes?

The United Stage of Portal Sources works no matter where you drank a liter of vodka.

Do you have customer lizards?

I live for your unattended geckos, salamanders and mmmnematodes.

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